me: did you enjoy the show Grandma took you to?
him: yes. Did you know the floor was like a chess board and when the wolf tried to take the pig in the house of sticks he should have stood at E8 (or something... I don't know what he really said) and then it would have been checkmate if you allowed the wheelbarrow to be a knight and the tree to be a bishop. And if he'd stood at A4 we could pretend he was white that time and the two trees were bishops... mate!
me: oook, so was the wolf scary?
him: not really, he had several opportunities to check mate, but his end game was weak.